2014 Round Ups and 2015 Goals

Well well well, it has been a whole year since I have came on this blog.

2014 was full of ups and downs for me, so I really feel like writing a round up to formally say bye to 2014 and to prepare myself for the upcoming year.

The first few months of the year was a bit blurry to me now. I think I was just constantly feeling sad and scared because my dad was terminally ill and I was dreading having と face reality everyday. I went back and forth from trying to cheer myself up and being dragged right back down because my dad was suffering more and more. I knew the end was coming; I was dreading it on one hand, but on another I knew my whole family was emotionally suffering. It was extremely hard to deal with it all but luckily I was always just a text away from my loving friends whenever I needed their support.

Then, one day in April, my dad left us. It was really sudden, and not like how I imagined. My mom has told me that she thought he would first go into a coma, but he didn't. He was perfectly conscious that morning. I really don't think I can blog about the details of it because it hurt too much. I think I went through a phase where I was numbed about the situation and I didn't mind talking about him, but weirdly as time passed, I became more and more uncomfortable talking about him. I think the pain just settled in slowly. There were times when I would cry myself to bed. However, I'm usually feeling fine when I'm around people. I haven't gone a day without thinking about him since his passing though.

I would say 2014 was another big turning point in my life. With dad's passing, it flipped my (and my mom's) world around. We've moved, twice.

After the funeral and taking care most of the immediate matters, mom and I went back to Canada for a few weeks. We had to move out of our apartment in Toronto because we have decided we are no longer living there. We threw out half our stuff, packed up and moved the rest to our relatives' houses. I went back to my University to get my diploma. I was really happy to see my homies again because I really really missed them. At the same time, my mom and I started having a really strained relationship. We bickered and had arguments almost everyday since my dad left. In hindsight, I think it was because my dad used to be the decision maker in our family. With him gone, we weren't used the new responsibility of decision making. I was really unhappy because all my life, my mom and I had a really good relationship. Things are way better now, now that most things are settled and we have learned to live with each other again.

my Toronto family❤ - reunited with my homies. hehehe.

It was around the time after my dad passed, that I started talking to Y again. At one point I stopped messaging him because he didn't seem like he cared anymore; but I really needed him again because I realized that I've lost dad already, I couldn't stand seeing him walk out of my life too. Luckily he became really kind to me and we've rebuilt our relationship. He was one of the people who gave me immense support through the darkest period of my life.

I have also met a bunch of really nice friends who were coming to Hong Kong every month from Japan for business (also for fun). Eventually I've decided to work with them and we have been trying to build a future that we want. We are slowly building a network of like-minded people and we have a lot of fun together in our work. I've been learning a lot from them and my Japanese definitely improved! (even my Nii-chan said so when we were catching up and I was so happy to hear that from him :D)

my new circle (Osaka team) ❤

After coming back from Canada, I had to start planning the trip to Europe for my cousin's wedding. The plan was to meet up in Venice, Italy, and then take a 7,8 day cruise that travels to Croatia, Turkey, and Greece. The wedding itself happened in Santorini (Greece), and it was surreal! Prior to joining up with them, I travelled to Venice first by myself (since they were coming in from Toronto). I had two days to explore Venice, which was BEAUTIFUL. I was a little worried at first because it was my first time in Europe/Italy, and I didn't know a lot about travelling in Europe. However, I'm glad I went through with it because I honestly had an amazing time. The highlight for me was going to Burano Islands. It was a beautiful place and I will never forget it. As was Santorini. It's probably the closest thing to how I imagined heaven to be like. After the cruise, we also went to see more of Italy. We went to Florence and hung out in Venice for a few more days until we all went home. The cruise, the whole trip to Europe was unforgettable.

Checking off my bucket list - Burano Island, Italy (Venice)

After Europe, my mom and I moved to a smaller apartment, and the renovation preparation for our old home started. Moving twice within such a short period of time was really exhausting. It was better for me this time around 'cause I had less stuff to get rid of in Hong Kong. However, it was harder for my mom because she had more things with sentimental values here. After we moved, I've booked a three week trip to Japan because I missed seeing my Japanese friends (and I had to see Y of course).

My trip was from late October to the first part of November. This time going to Japan, I was lucky because I got to stay at a friend's house for the majority of the time, unless I was away from Tokyo/Kanagawa.I went to Hiroshima to see Y. I missed him so much. We didn't do anything special, but I was glad to see him. On my way back to Tokyo, I went to Osaka because my friend invited me to stay for a night. It just so happened to be the last day of EXILE TRIBE live tour in Osaka, and my friend asked if I wanted to see it. Of course I did! and she managed to got us tickets, for half the price too!!! So I checked another item off my bucket list and I was super excited and super thankful for being able to see Omi-kun live! Unfortunately Atsushi wasn't in this tour, but one day, I will see him! I just know it! My friend was such a great host. Aside from arranging going to the EXILE TRIBE live, she also drove me out and showed me around Osaka and Kyoto. I only stayed in Kansai for two days but it was really fun. After I got back to Tokyo, I've met up with various people and hung out with Tiffany (the friend I was staying with) a lot. We went to karaoke, cat cafe, ate A LOT, and shopped some. It was fun hanging out with Tiffany! I can hardly believe that I've only met her for about three months and we became so close already. I also FINALLY got to reunite with Shuhei. He gave me the biggest and warmest hug ever! We hung out two days in a row and it's just always fun when I have him around! Even if we just sit on street side at night and talked. He took me to an 'escape game' which was also really fun! It would be better if I could understand more Japanese but he took good care of me there. We've promised each other that we will get back on our feet, save up and travel together. Honestly, he's one of those people that I always want to keep in my life. I'm so grateful that I've met him.

Cat Cafe with Tiffany

Alice themed restaurant (Ikebukuro branch)

hanging out with Shu-chan ❤❤❤

After coming back from Japan, I was really motivated to make something of myself. I had a week to finish the online TEFL course that I started a year ago, which I did. After that things with Y started falling apart again and I was again, in a phase where I'm trying to go between cheering myself up and feeling down. That brought us to December, and for the month I had been trying to look for a job that will take me to Japan. There has been a lot of changes, good and bad ones. Hopefully 2015 will be better, I'm feeling positive!

In 2015, I really want to be less lazy (lol). I always switch between being extremely motivated and extremely unmotivated. I really want to try harder to be persistent in my effort.

I am going to aim for landing a job in Japan in around the Spring time. I also am aiming to live a healthier life, mainly to make better decisions when it comes to the food I consume. I will build a better future for myself. I will also become a better version of myself; learning to love myself more so I can love others. I want to meet people, go on dates, and just have fun with life. I will be on my journey to finding happiness this year!


２０１４って出会いも別れもたくさんあった。
いろいろ大変だったけどそれでちょっとだけでも成長した気がする。（笑）
でも道はまだまだ長いだから２０１５も頑張らなきゃ！

２０１５よろしくお願いします！❤

Life's been good these days.

It's been a while since I've updated this blog. My spring/summer vacation has only 6 weeks left and to be honest I'm starting to freak out a bit. When I first came back end of April, it took me a while to get used to my life here - living with my parents again after 8 months of living by myself was a huge adjustment. It was painful but now I'm quite comfortable here, albeit still having issues with the parents from time to time.

In a bit over a week, I'll be going on my highly anticipated trip to Seoul, Korea, and Osaka, Japan. Angel promised to seoul me around /LOL/. I can't wait to see my friend, whom I haven't seen in over a year, have really good korean food, cafes, and go crazy shopping in both Korea and Japan :D

However, after the trip, there will only be 3 weeks left until I head back to Toronto. I miss my friends and my house there, but I'm going to miss my parents a lot - also the carefree life in which they take care of most of my meals and laundry - not going to lie, but I really hate juggling housework AND my studies at the same time.

Just to make this post a little more interesting, I'm going post some photos I took of my life here, because life's been pretty good these days and I want to remember it.

Starting off with some food I've been obsessed with...

Beef & Crab Roe Fried Rice with Japanese Soy Sauce

I've had this rice 3 times so far, and it is heavenly! It was so unexpectedly good, and unbelievably yummy. I'm so sad because my dad got tired of the restaurant (Sogo Cafe) and I probably can't get anymore of this. /tears/

Indo mie with musical egg

Made this for lunch one day, it's so simple, yet so delishushhhh!! Indo mie is an Indonesian brand instant noodle and comes with a lot of sauces and stuff. There are soup based ones but I've been loving this one lately. It's just a bit spicy and tastes really nice. I added a musical egg (apparently the hen listen to music while laying eggs, and the eggs are supposed to taste better) and I cooked it just a bit so the yolk is still gooey and awesome. Simple and fast and yummy - if I have luggage space I will definitely bring some back with me.

A bunch of my friends dropped by Hong Kong before they took off on a month long trip to Southeast Asia. I hung out with the bunch of them a few times during the time they were here, but one of those days I met up with Terri alone for a good catch up.

Cafe Corridor

I searched for a good cafe for us to sit down and chill out, and found one near Times Square. It's actually quite hidden - you have to walk pass a long corridor, hence the name, to get there. It's quite nice, I liked the decor and the latte was nice. I can imagine myself going back for latte when I come back to live here permanently.

Afterwards we went to Times Square since Terri needed to buy trainers for her trip. Found a pair in no time and we headed to dinner.

waiting for dinner

The meal was okay, not amazing but in Torontonian standards its pretty good already. After dinner we looked for a bar to chill in but since it was Friday night, EVERYWHERE was full; and Terri grew impatient. #nothingnew

We found one eventually, one that Terri has been to last year with another friend. The place was pretty sketchy in my opinion. I wanted to try an Asahi but the beer girl persuaded me to get a bud just like Terri (because bud was from the company the beer girl was promoting). Terri called me a pushover for giving in, but I really didn't think it mattered on petty things like that.

having a bud with my buddy.

So that was my day chilling with Terri.

The next day was my mom's birthday. Grandma came over at about noon, and we went to yum cha in Causeway Bay. Then we came home for a while and went back to the same restaurant for a big family dinner.

Selca; OOTD

Loving my pink shorts and tiger print shirt ❤
When I bought the shorts, my dad said the colour was ugly. Until I wore it that day, he said my shorts looked good with my shirt. My tiger actually has the same color bow around its neck, so it matched quite nicely. I'm usually not that into tigers, but this guy has such a cute face I had to get it ❤
I'm also obsessed with my newly dyed hair (second time this summer) - thanks to the awesome daisuke-san. I haven't had such light hair in YEARS!

selca with mom, and her side of the fam.

I tried to raise the angle so my mom would look less like a potato head. She went to get a haircut a few days before but I don't understand why she wouldn't go to a nicer hair salon. She used to go to decent ones but recently she said she doesn't mind going for non-stylish ones now because she doesn't have anyone to impress anymore. = w =" Oh, and my cousin, grandma, and aunt wanted to be in the background too /laughs/

mama's bday cake

My mom's bday cake that we got her from Mimosa - a quite famous bakery in my neighborhood. It was a passion fruit mousse cake and it was delishhhh!



Ending the post with a family photo ❤

家族❤

My parents and I, and the cutest human baby ever.

My family has its issues, but it's perfect in my eyes.
ある時ひどくなっても、家族は家族だから、絶対越えるよね。それが、愛の絆。

It's EXILE time!! Life is beautiful ♪

EXILE TRIBE TOWER OF WISH 2012 LIVE in SAPPORO.

IT. LASTED. FOR. FIVE. HOURS.

5 hours of awesomeness. And muscles. *nosebleed*

Atsushi's solo segment. I just....I can't even....ahhh it was orgasmic /laughs/
I'm so proud of myself for being able to understand everything he said during his MC. He talks really fast and I always find it hard to understand his talks. But not this time. This time I understood everything.

Also during 24Karats he took off his jacket, AND HAD NO SHIRT INSIDE (///口///)
From then on, throughout the whole song I was just looking staring at his half-naked body. His skin is smoother than my own #iwannatouch

The other performances and other performers were great too. Just not as great as my godly godly Atsushi. He fckin' cures my soul.

I wish E-Girl had more stage time though....and cut back on sandaime JSB. They had too much performance time. XD

Although I was only watching live broadcast in a movie theatre, I was really thankful to be given this chance. I feel so touched that I can see my beloved Atsushi on a huge screen, in real time. TwT"

Someday it will be the real thing ;) I HAVE to go to their live one day.

I <3 EXILE TRIBE.

I took time to do nice makeup today, but my fringe is getting too long and I don't know what to do with it =w=" I've booked hair appointment for Friday though, I can't wait to chop some hair off.

Rei (me) on pigg!

Since ameba pigg members can also watch the live broadcast online (requires a lot of credit though), they also started 'selling' EXILE TRIBE caps so I bought one, and I dressed my avatar in the 24karats outfit I got a while ago. I'm all ready to partyyy!!♪
July2012 had a really good start, and it's only gonna keep getting better!
This week I'm gonna try to go for eye exam, haircut;
next week my friends are coming from TO;
Then soon after it will be my epic KR-JP trip in which I get to see Angel, buy a shit load of goods from EXILE TRIBE STATION, KAPIBARASAN SHOP and RILAKKUMA SHOP.

I CAN'T WAIT.

What am I doing here...

For the past two weeks or so, I haven't experienced anything, in real life, that makes me feel truly happy. Under a lot of pressure from trying to adjust to living with my family again, after living by myself for the past year or so.

Met a new friend about two weeks ago but ever since we've met up, we haven't really been in contact with each other, well, he hasn't been in touch. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, nor do I think it was because he didn't like me. It probably has a lot to do with his personality and the fact that he'd rather be back in Japan. Whatever the reasons might be, at the end of the day, it magnifies the loneliness that I have been already feeling from missing my fantastic friends back home.

What I want to say is, I miss my friends very much, because as much as my family means to me, my lovely friends are the ones who understand me the most. I feel like ever since I moved to Canada 13 years ago, my family - except my mom - have not been with me and thus, have not watched me grow at all. It's even worse that I'm not the type that is outspoken or tries really hard to show people what I know. It is fine, but the fact that they make assumptions about me frustrates me a lot. For instance, my grandma still thinks I'm this idiotic girl who can never recognize roads and directions. It might be true that I'm not particularly good at it, but it doesn't mean I am incapable of finding my way at all. Afterall, how could I survive a trip to Japan on my own, and living by myself all this time in Toronto, without knowing how to get to places? Pfffft.

Lately, the only time I feel happy is when I whatsapp with friends back home. It's a bit hard to say everything through text but it calms me down when I talk to them. Not to mention they make me smile to myself like an idiot.

Life isn't easy to deal with when you don't have someone who understands you by your side. Not to mention I can't express this to my family at all because rather than being supportive, they would probably say something like "then go back to your friends!", or, disown me lol.

I don't belong here.