Friday, January 2, 2015

2014 Round Ups and 2015 Goals

Well well well, it has been a whole year since I have came on this blog.

2014 was full of ups and downs for me, so I really feel like writing a round up to formally say bye to 2014 and to prepare myself for the upcoming year.

The first few months of the year was a bit blurry to me now. I think I was just constantly feeling sad and scared because my dad was terminally ill and I was dreading having と face reality everyday. I went back and forth from trying to cheer myself up and being dragged right back down because my dad was suffering more and more. I knew the end was coming; I was dreading it on one hand, but on another I knew my whole family was emotionally suffering. It was extremely hard to deal with it all but luckily I was always just a text away from my loving friends whenever I needed their support.

Then, one day in April, my dad left us. It was really sudden, and not like how I imagined. My mom has told me that she thought he would first go into a coma, but he didn't. He was perfectly conscious that morning. I really don't think I can blog about the details of it because it hurt too much. I think I went through a phase where I was numbed about the situation and I didn't mind talking about him, but weirdly as time passed, I became more and more uncomfortable talking about him. I think the pain just settled in slowly. There were times when I would cry myself to bed. However, I'm usually feeling fine when I'm around people. I haven't gone a day without thinking about him since his passing though.

I would say 2014 was another big turning point in my life. With dad's passing, it flipped my (and my mom's) world around. We've moved, twice.

After the funeral and taking care most of the immediate matters, mom and I went back to Canada for a few weeks. We had to move out of our apartment in Toronto because we have decided we are no longer living there. We threw out half our stuff, packed up and moved the rest to our relatives' houses. I went back to my University to get my diploma. I was really happy to see my homies again because I really really missed them. At the same time, my mom and I started having a really strained relationship. We bickered and had arguments almost everyday since my dad left. In hindsight, I think it was because my dad used to be the decision maker in our family. With him gone, we weren't used the new responsibility of decision making. I was really unhappy because all my life, my mom and I had a really good relationship. Things are way better now, now that most things are settled and we have learned to live with each other again.
my Toronto family❤ - reunited with my homies. hehehe.

It was around the time after my dad passed, that I started talking to Y again. At one point I stopped messaging him because he didn't seem like he cared anymore; but I really needed him again because I realized that I've lost dad already, I couldn't stand seeing him walk out of my life too. Luckily he became really kind to me and we've rebuilt our relationship. He was one of the people who gave me immense support through the darkest period of my life.

I have also met a bunch of really nice friends who were coming to Hong Kong every month from Japan for business (also for fun). Eventually I've decided to work with them and we have been trying to build a future that we want. We are slowly building a network of like-minded people and we have a lot of fun together in our work. I've been learning a lot from them and my Japanese definitely improved! (even my Nii-chan said so when we were catching up and I was so happy to hear that from him :D)
my new circle (Osaka team) ❤

After coming back from Canada, I had to start planning the trip to Europe for my cousin's wedding. The plan was to meet up in Venice, Italy, and then take a 7,8 day cruise that travels to Croatia, Turkey, and Greece. The wedding itself happened in Santorini (Greece), and it was surreal! Prior to joining up with them, I travelled to Venice first by myself (since they were coming in from Toronto). I had two days to explore Venice, which was BEAUTIFUL. I was a little worried at first because it was my first time in Europe/Italy, and I didn't know a lot about travelling in Europe. However, I'm glad I went through with it because I honestly had an amazing time. The highlight for me was going to Burano Islands. It was a beautiful place and I will never forget it. As was Santorini. It's probably the closest thing to how I imagined heaven to be like. After the cruise, we also went to see more of Italy. We went to Florence and hung out in Venice for a few more days until we all went home. The cruise, the whole trip to Europe was unforgettable.

Checking off my bucket list - Burano Island, Italy (Venice)

After Europe, my mom and I moved to a smaller apartment, and the renovation preparation for our old home started. Moving twice within such a short period of time was really exhausting. It was better for me this time around 'cause I had less stuff to get rid of in Hong Kong. However, it was harder for my mom because she had more things with sentimental values here. After we moved, I've booked a three week trip to Japan because I missed seeing my Japanese friends (and I had to see Y of course).

My trip was from late October to the first part of November. This time going to Japan, I was lucky because I got to stay at a friend's house for the majority of the time, unless I was away from Tokyo/Kanagawa.I went to Hiroshima to see Y. I missed him so much. We didn't do anything special, but I was glad to see him. On my way back to Tokyo, I went to Osaka because my friend invited me to stay for a night. It just so happened to be the last day of EXILE TRIBE live tour in Osaka, and my friend asked if I wanted to see it. Of course I did! and she managed to got us tickets, for half the price too!!! So I checked another item off my bucket list and I was super excited and super thankful for being able to see Omi-kun live! Unfortunately Atsushi wasn't in this tour, but one day, I will see him! I just know it! My friend was such a great host. Aside from arranging going to the EXILE TRIBE live, she also drove me out and showed me around Osaka and Kyoto. I only stayed in Kansai for two days but it was really fun. After I got back to Tokyo, I've met up with various people and hung out with Tiffany (the friend I was staying with) a lot. We went to karaoke, cat cafe, ate A LOT, and shopped some. It was fun hanging out with Tiffany! I can hardly believe that I've only met her for about three months and we became so close already. I also FINALLY got to reunite with Shuhei. He gave me the biggest and warmest hug ever! We hung out two days in a row and it's just always fun when I have him around! Even if we just sit on street side at night and talked. He took me to an 'escape game' which was also really fun! It would be better if I could understand more Japanese but he took good care of me there. We've promised each other that we will get back on our feet, save up and travel together. Honestly, he's one of those people that I always want to keep in my life. I'm so grateful that I've met him.
Cat Cafe with Tiffany

Alice themed restaurant (Ikebukuro branch)
hanging out with Shu-chan ❤❤❤
After coming back from Japan, I was really motivated to make something of myself. I had a week to finish the online TEFL course that I started a year ago, which I did. After that things with Y started falling apart again and I was again, in a phase where I'm trying to go between cheering myself up and feeling down. That brought us to December, and for the month I had been trying to look for a job that will take me to Japan. There has been a lot of changes, good and bad ones. Hopefully 2015 will be better, I'm feeling positive!

In 2015, I really want to be less lazy (lol). I always switch between being extremely motivated and extremely unmotivated. I really want to try harder to be persistent in my effort.

I am going to aim for landing a job in Japan in around the Spring time. I also am aiming to live a healthier life, mainly to make better decisions when it comes to the food I consume. I will build a better future for myself. I will also become a better version of myself; learning to love myself more so I can love others. I want to meet people, go on dates, and just have fun with life. I will be on my journey to finding happiness this year!



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